I also don’t know how much I weigh. I think it’s in the region of 12 and a half stone – about 175 pounds. That sounds like a lot, but hey. I look like this, as the photos that I’m happiest to share with others, and so I don’t think that weight is necessarily something to base your judgement on.
I am working so hard not to hate my body anymore. In the words of so many other strong women, my body works hard for me too. It carries me around, it exercises when I tell it to and it’s getting so strong. One of my goals is to do a press up – I find it really difficult to do a press up, but I’m getting there and on the plus side, I can do an amazingly controlled shoulder stand. One thing I’m proud of is the fact that I can do a crab when I couldn’t lift my head off the floor less than two years ago because I couldn’t support my own weight.
And why should this matter? As a person, I am worth so much more than my appearance. Yes, I am pretty and that makes me happy. I like to dress up in clothes that make me feel good, but I know my Hairy doesn’t care about that. He says I’m beautiful first thing in the morning, without any make up and with bed head; he’s said this since I first met him. Sadly because I had acne as a teenager I don’t feel comfortable without make up but I know he loves it best. Hairy did tell me that I’ve lost weight since we’ve been together, but that’s only because we were talking about it.
Why should we hate our appearance? What good does it do us? It only shames us into feeling bad about ourselves, men and women alike, and the thing is that everyone is their own kind of beautiful. I honestly believe that, and for every comment or like this post gets, I will pay you a compliment of the most superficial kind. But that’s only because I don’t know just yet how amazing a person that YOU are, and I hope that I will. So far I’ve had such support in starting this blog and for that I’m grateful. I have such little self esteem, and you are all helping me, so thanks. I am happy to be a part of your online lives, and I wish you the best of happiness in your fight against your demons.