Runes and Rhinestones

I'm a modern day Viking, navigating my way through a stormy sea of stuff.

Prompted: Mirror, Mirror.

on January 22, 2014

I was planning to write about family today as I’m surrounding myself with my family a lot at the moment. I was going to say that I don’t consider my friends to be my family; I choose them and they fill a completely different space in my life.

Instead after this morning I’m going to have a look at the prompt that I got in my email inbox “Look in the mirror. Does the person you see match the person you feel like on the inside? How much stock do you put in appearances?

Simply put, no. I don’t feel like the person that I see in the mirror. I feel like a completely different person and I have trouble recognising the reflection. Mirrors lie. Mirrors all reflect different things from different angles. Sometimes I’ll look in the mirror and think that what’s in there isn’t too bad, and then others I look at it and wonder why small children don’t run screaming.

I hate that I have become incredibly good at not looking in mirrors. My bathroom has big mirrors, and I can now do everything in there without having to look at myself once. I can ignore all the mirrors and reflective surfaces in my house without even thinking about it and I wish I wasn’t that good at it. I wish that I could look into a mirror and be happy, or accept it at least.

I don’t want to put as much into the way that I look as apparently I do. It kind of crushes me that I can go from feeling on top of the world to absolutely unable to deal with anything in the space of five minutes because my body does not fit the standard sizing and I have to look at myself in the mirror comprehensively not fitting. I don’t fit much that’s standard, in terms of size and body. Mostly I’m okay with that, so long as I don’t have to remember it.

I don’t want to be this affected by something that I’m trying so hard to get over. I don’t think appearance is the way you should categorise someone, but I’m fighting a losing battle because I just can’t get away from judging my own appearance.


One response to “Prompted: Mirror, Mirror.

  1. I think we all tend to judge ourselves much more harshly than we judge other people. I am getting much better at accepting myself as I get older but occasionally it is hard to not hold ourselves up to a higher standard and then find ourselves missing the mark in some way. I would have to say I do it much less now a days . I think we need to learn to love ourselves more than the people around us that we love. If we think about the fact that our body, ourselves is the one person we are always with. The other people we love we see when we can, but we are always with ourselves and need to find that loving acceptance for the person we are. Look at yourself as if you are not you, but a dear friend, would you feel so judgemental about the person you are looking at, probably not. Some of it is an age thing, I think as we get older we accept our bodies and ourselves a lot better. I like myself more than I ever have and I do not mind seeing me in the mirror and I have to lose a lot of weight, over 100 pounds. I have accepted that I am never going to be perfect or have a ” perfect ” body and though I am working hard at it, I will never probably have the body I really would want , but it is okay. I am good enough just the way I am. My husband, kids , grandkids and friends love me exactly the way I am, so I really starting to be okay with accepting me the way and realizing that looks and weight really do not matter. It is who you are, and how you live your life that matters !! I hope you can learn these things at a younger age than I did. Saves you a lot of pain in life, if you can just learn to love yourself the way you are. You are the best you there is, and I bet the people that love you, love you just the way you are and do not see the things you do when you look in the mirror !! That does not mean I am not working at the weight, and making goals and working hard to lose that weight, but until I do, I have to like who I am now. I can honestly say, I really do like myself and although I do not like the weight I see in the mirrow, I can accept it is who I am and I am at peace with it. I can love myself regardless of that weight.
    So, look proudly in that mirror and tell yourself you are perfect the way you are !! Be your own best friend !! You deserve to be happy with yourself and you can be. Just be as accepting to yourself as you are with your loved ones, it really is that simple !!!

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