Four years ago today, Hairy asked me to be his girlfriend at a stupid time of the morning. I said yes, and it’s definitely been a good choice. I could talk about those four years, but I don’t think I will. I will talk about relationships though, because they’re important to me. Most specifically, I want to talk about friendships.
Needless to say, my sister and my cousin are probably two of my best friends. They’re family, so they kind of have to put up with me but I’m lucky to be able to count them among my best friends.
It’s the other friends, the nebulous friends, the ones you may not even be in touch with except for social media. I have an old friend that I used to go to school with. He’s going through a rough time at the moment, and I’d like to reach out and say that if he ever wanted to get in touch and have a chat I’d be there for him. How do you say that though, after probably a year of no more interaction that surface “likes” on each others posts? How can I get in touch without seeming to be rubbing my happiness in his face?
There’s a girl that I used to be close with who was very upset when I got married because of many reasons. She said she’d like to be friends still, but has since ignored all my attempts to get in touch again. How do you deal with that? Do you keep trying, in memory of what was a good friendship and because I may need her friendship again soon? Or do I give up because I keep getting rebuffed?
I’ve made friends where I’m working, and where I was at Waterstones. When I was at university, friends seemed transient. I had friends for a year or so, and then moved on because our courses were different and we never had time together after that.
It surprised me then, when I left Waterstones, that I was invited to someone’s house warming. It kind of felt that once I left there, I’d be forgotten like most of the other friendships I’ve left behind. I don’t mean this to sound self indulgent or whiny, but I just didn’t expect it. Possibly also because I know that I’m planning on leaving Nottingham soon and I don’t know if that sort of friendship will survive, except on the internet.
Friendship is important to me. I will do a lot to be there for my friends and family, and while I may still have to work at being a good friend I will always be there on the other end of a phone.