I’m a Guide leader. Have been ever since I qualified at eighteen, and I love it. It’s rewarding, fun and looks great on my CV. It’s a totally voluntary position and I definitely don’t get paid anything to do it. It is hard though, and there are nights that I come home upset or angry or feeling like I don’t make any changes to these girls. I give up every Monday night to look after them, hopefully teach them stuff like life skills and self confidence. The nights that I feel like it’s all worth it are harder to come by, but it’s amazing when they do.
Recently it’s been hard. My Guide leader has been off ill for the past few months and has left it all to me. I am qualified to run a unit and I know that I can do it. It’s just hard to do since I’m only Assistant Guider on the paperwork for our unit, so I don’t have most of the resources and I’m not expecting it for the most part. I know I can organise activities and plan a good term for the girls, but if I don’t know about it at the beginning of term and it keeps getting dumped on me week by week, then it’s wearing. I know I can take over the accounts, but until I’m given them I don’t know what I’m working with. I know I can organise trips and contact parents about subs, but without the information I can’t do that. I can do it all, but I feel like I’m working with a blindfold and my arm tied behind my back.
My Guide leader is an amazing woman: dedicated, caring and super organised. She’s also very used to doing things her way, and as the chief Guider she’s got all the resources and information at her house. I’m stuck trying to run evenings and plan activities without half of the stuff I’m used to working with and it’s hard.
I don’t know week by week who’s going to be there. There’s only me, a Guider who started at the beginning of term and now a student helper. We work well as a team, but I don’t feel overly confident every week in relying on them because they’re either younger, or inexperienced. It’s a lot of pressure, and it’s sometimes a bit scary.
But on the other hand, I’m a Guider and what is it without a bit of a challenge? We won’t be doing the big thing that I wanted to this term, but I’m keen on getting it started next year. I know I can do this, and by Jove I’ll do it well.