Runes and Rhinestones

I'm a modern day Viking, navigating my way through a stormy sea of stuff.

Finding the balance, and finding perfect.

Dudes and dudettes, you wonderful people who will still read this even after a month of radio silence. My life was at the same time both incredibly crazy busy, and intensely boring.

But now, with only 23 days before I get married I finally have something that I’d like to talk about. I thought that by this point, the wedding would just be ticking along and would only need a few bits of input. Apparently not. Apparently there is still crazy family stuff that can be sprung on you, and still stuff that needs to be sorted.

On the other hand, I’m following the advice of an amazing wedding blog site that I found a few months back and I’m finally accepting that it won’t be perfect.

HOLD YOUR HORSES. I’m not saying that I’m upset with my wedding, and I’m not settling for less. I’m just accepting that some bits (the bits I don’t care as much about), aren’t as important to me and therefore aren’t going to be perfection.

The things that will be perfect are thanks in great part to my amazing family and friends. My dress, which I pick up tomorrow, is perfect. It suits me, it makes me happy and it fits me perfectly. My bouquet, which arrived yesterday, is as close to perfect so it makes no difference that it isn’t the full brooch bouquet I originally wanted. It’s a beautiful bouquet, and I love it. My honeymoon, just waiting for an email from a campsite I fell in love with, is going to be perfect.

I thought for ages that I wanted a big foreign holiday. Couldn’t do that – couldn’t afford passports. Okay, well maybe a cottage in Scotland. Nope, still couldn’t afford it and couldn’t find one I fell in love with enough to splash out. But yesterday my epiphany struck and I realised that I want to make the most of the experiences I can have on honeymoon. Every time I go on guide camp, I want to show Hairy the beautiful sunrises and sunsets. I want to do the silly activities. The site I found does surfing, has compost loos and a collection of rescue animals. Does that not sound perfect?

Some things have had to be a compromise, but I’ve always managed to find the balance between my happiness and theirs. I didn’t have to compromise for my hen do. Last weekend, I had one of the best weekends ever with my sister and some friends. We went to Camden, watched shows, got so drunk and (I did at least), danced like crazy people. Then there was all the penis related hilarity, and I found that I don’t really know Hairy as well as I thought. Partly because he helped set hard questions and partly because I think I was drunk and hungover at the same time. YES.

And finally, I’m okay with everything. In 23 days and about 3 hours, I get to stand in front of everyone I love and tell Hairy that I love him. That genuinely is the biggest part of my day, and the rest is just chocolate flavoured frosting.

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Evil for evil’s sake?

For a prompt: “Who would you be if everyone in the world suddenly stopped being these 3D characters, and became far more 2D? I.e. good for good’s sake, evil because they’re evil. Like old cartoons and the like, with evil witches and good knights etc?”

If you’re the one asked me this, I hope you don’t mind me using it here!

When I was younger, I wanted to be a goth. I wore too much black eyeliner, an old blue shirt of my mum’s and slightly tacky jewellery. I loved those tattoo style choker necklaces, but sadly I broke mine. I *cough cough* wanted so hard to be a goth that I bought tarot cards, a spell book and attempted to become a Satanist. I failed, it was all very embarrassing and frankly I’m blushing with shame even now.

At that point, I wanted to be rebellious and “evil” for the sake of it. My first reaction is that I’d like to be the evil witch because they get the better powers, are more interesting and don’t always solve the problem by applying a handsome prince. Also, the villains pretty much always get the best song in the movie – Scar with Be Prepared, Mother Gothel from Tangled with Mother Knows Best, Frollo with Hellfire, to deviate from Disney how about Hocus Pocus and the witches singing Come Little Children and I’ll Put a Spell On You?

While I’d like to be the evil witch purely because it’s my contrary nature at work, I think sadly I’d be a goodie. I’m way too nice to people who don’t deserve it, spend too much time and energy on so-called friends who I don’t really care about. I don’t see any evil witches entertaining cronies they don’t like.

I love morally grey characters. I’m reading an amazing web series at the moment called Worm,it’s insanely long but the protagonist is wonderfully written, not exactly a villain or a hero by the end. Go read it, it’s worth it. The fight scenes can be a little long but I’m almost at the end! I’m also about to start reading Don’t Point That Thing At Me by Kyril Bonfiglioli which has been described as “an unholy collaboration between P.G. Wodehouse and Ian Fleming”; I started reading it the other day at work and the main character, Charlie Mortdecai is a grubby man but pretty hilarious all the same.

If I could pick which good guy I’d be, I’d rather be on the Mulan side of the scale of Disney princesses rather than Cinderella or Snow White. I don’t think I’d make a very good bad guy, I like bright colours too much (although there is always this guy, such a snappy dresser!)

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Hairy’s the town drunk. (From the horse’s mouth, no lies). As my own summary, I’d like to be a slightly grubby good guy with a kick-ass musical number and a style that fries your retinas. I think this should be made into a comic.

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